Hater Brigade presents: Why Slumdog Millionaire?

I know people will disagree but my job as part of the Hater Brigade is to bring unpopular thoughts into very popular people or things. This particular thing is called Slumdog Millionaire. The feel good movie of the year needs to be attacked on its naïveté and lack of painting a full picture of India. I’m not saying its not a good movie, but that it is a fucked up movie.

The producers were extremely intelligent in who they would target as their demographic, and that was the middle class liberal crowd. Of course they would enjoy a rags to riches, superficial love plot, Horatio Alger type of movie to uplift the morale of the their mundane and useless bourgeois lives. It is the American guilt that seeks out these types of movies, thinking that their inaction against the empire will be absolved if they become aware of the problems of third world countries.

We exploit the shit out of Indian workers with outsourcing and dump millions of tons of our trash onto Indian soil without even thinking about the ecological and psychological repercussions. Although the role of American imperialism is a pertinent one, it is the hand of the British Empire that carved the hole that India is at now. So that could be why Americans adore this film because not 100 percent of India’s economic problems could be trailed to their tax dollars. This film would not have been made if it was set in Iraq and not India.

It could also be the “ethnic syndrome” that the American public suffers on occasion. Right now Indians are chic and en vogue. (Previous infatuation with Darjeeling Limited and MIA, yea she’s from Sri Lanka, but its all the same to us). Indians are more exotic than blacks, and are more relatable than latinos because they speak English. Queens English that is. Even Better. And to top it off they dance on cue, and they dance well. White people love other people dancing, for obvious reasons.

Instead of showing the poverty of India in a superficial and offensive way they could have delved into the reasons of why there are so many of the population living in substandard conditions. Or they could have focused on serious dilemmas of the nation like the Maoist rebels, terrorism, or possibly globalization that keeps these “slumdogs” in poverty. Instead they portray their poverty as innate and barbaric, which can only be titled as racist towards the Indian people. And the fact that the dude escaped poverty and became rich is a bigger “fuck you” to poor people saying, “if you have love and hope you can do anything, your socio-economic background is just an unnecessary crutch.”

So my last stanza is to the director. Fuck you Danny Boyle, you colossal cunt. Who are you to make a movie about the poor of India? It should have been an Indian. Simple. Its as despicable as it was for Mel Gibson’s aussie ass to make a movie about the Mayans. Apacolypto should be banned and burned. Where is Stalin when you need him? Round ‘em up Joey and send them to the Gulag! I wonder if Danny and Mel meet up and joke about how they have made millions from the stories of exploited and oppressed brown people. Well they will now