Big Friday Night!

A thought I had on the potty:

If to "assume" makes an ASS out of U and ME, then to "assimilate" makes an ASS out of I and MI too LATE. It's no Britney song title but then again I was multi-tasking.



I randomly got chocolate on my hand while typing this on my roommates computer. What does that mean, God?

Hater Brigade presents: Why Slumdog Millionaire?

I know people will disagree but my job as part of the Hater Brigade is to bring unpopular thoughts into very popular people or things. This particular thing is called Slumdog Millionaire. The feel good movie of the year needs to be attacked on its naïveté and lack of painting a full picture of India. I’m not saying its not a good movie, but that it is a fucked up movie.

The producers were extremely intelligent in who they would target as their demographic, and that was the middle class liberal crowd. Of course they would enjoy a rags to riches, superficial love plot, Horatio Alger type of movie to uplift the morale of the their mundane and useless bourgeois lives. It is the American guilt that seeks out these types of movies, thinking that their inaction against the empire will be absolved if they become aware of the problems of third world countries.

We exploit the shit out of Indian workers with outsourcing and dump millions of tons of our trash onto Indian soil without even thinking about the ecological and psychological repercussions. Although the role of American imperialism is a pertinent one, it is the hand of the British Empire that carved the hole that India is at now. So that could be why Americans adore this film because not 100 percent of India’s economic problems could be trailed to their tax dollars. This film would not have been made if it was set in Iraq and not India.

It could also be the “ethnic syndrome” that the American public suffers on occasion. Right now Indians are chic and en vogue. (Previous infatuation with Darjeeling Limited and MIA, yea she’s from Sri Lanka, but its all the same to us). Indians are more exotic than blacks, and are more relatable than latinos because they speak English. Queens English that is. Even Better. And to top it off they dance on cue, and they dance well. White people love other people dancing, for obvious reasons.

Instead of showing the poverty of India in a superficial and offensive way they could have delved into the reasons of why there are so many of the population living in substandard conditions. Or they could have focused on serious dilemmas of the nation like the Maoist rebels, terrorism, or possibly globalization that keeps these “slumdogs” in poverty. Instead they portray their poverty as innate and barbaric, which can only be titled as racist towards the Indian people. And the fact that the dude escaped poverty and became rich is a bigger “fuck you” to poor people saying, “if you have love and hope you can do anything, your socio-economic background is just an unnecessary crutch.”

So my last stanza is to the director. Fuck you Danny Boyle, you colossal cunt. Who are you to make a movie about the poor of India? It should have been an Indian. Simple. Its as despicable as it was for Mel Gibson’s aussie ass to make a movie about the Mayans. Apacolypto should be banned and burned. Where is Stalin when you need him? Round ‘em up Joey and send them to the Gulag! I wonder if Danny and Mel meet up and joke about how they have made millions from the stories of exploited and oppressed brown people. Well they will now

Danny Sightings - 1st entry

Saturday Feb. 21. 11:35 a.m.
I saw danny in front of the French Hotel Cafe sitting at a table with two other degenerates. He seemed to be drinking a latte and occasionally gesturing with ebullience which made the other two people at his table laugh. I am disgusted.

Sunday Feb. 22. 8:03 p.m.
Danny is walking out of Barney's (The gourmet burger restaurant) with a friend. He is wearing a hat and a cardigan sweater. I think I have been spotted. Abort transmission.

Top 3 Top 10 Lists Inspired by All The Top 5 Lists in High Fidelity

Top 10 Posses of All Time (that I am aware of at this point)

In no particular order except the first two:

1) Ghostwriter. Word! (associated acts: SLJ, Spike Lee, Julia Stiles and don't forget Marcella P. Lowry as Jamal Jenkins grandma)



2) Wu-Tang Clan because within the family, they also had individual economic freedom. Even the Mob doesn't roll like that. Xtra credit for making the word "clansmen" less scary.

3) Las Echo Parque Ladies from Mi Vida Loca. "I chose this life for myself."


4) Panthers. They kinda set the stage for a lot of the leather on this list. Panther Beret>Annie Hall Beret. Now they wear Cosby sweaters and Obama black tees when they table at UC-Berkeley. Forever stylin.

5) The Warriors from the movie of the same name, that is apparently being remade with Ice-T as the head dude who gets shot in the beginning (he would . . .) Why the team does not use "Warriors come out and playayay" to start their games is beyond me. Honorable mention: Rival gang, the Lizzies as NYC's first documented queer girl street clique.

6) The Ramones. Lil known fact: took their name and jackets from P-Reekin' street gangs.

7) The Greasers from The Outsiders. Practically a repeat of #6 but points for being that cool in Oklahoma City.


8) Wassup Rockers. I did the formula and they are well within my cougar number. Also, this was how I imagined Carlos' childhood when he told me he got hasseled by a cop whilst skating, but then he mentioned he had blue hair and was wearing a Slipknot shirt.

9) Oasis. The Brothers Gallagher will fuck you up! Or eachother up! Second only to Elastica in brit-pop fierceness. So fierce they tried to start an East Coast/East East Coast rivalry with Jay-Z. What?

10) Wayans Family (we love you, Kim! and your Tracy Chapman impression!)


(the first in a series of la Kim's young adult book for mixed kids)

DQ'd: Babysitter's Club, 12 Apostles.

Top Ten good bands that were ruined by their fans

10.Dave Matthews Band
- This band is actually good musically, and Dave writes some nice melodies. But his devout fans linger in the zone somewhere between the words Cult and Cunt

9. Pavement
- Snobby awkward music nerds love them. Snobby awkward music nerds are abhorred by everyone else.

8. MIA
- She's hot, she makes her own music and rhymes, she has her own style, but yet her fans are 35 year old organic farmers who still dress like 15 year olds from Seattle.

7. Selena
- Her biggest fan killed her. yeah its kinda fucked up, but not as fucked up as having j-lo play her in her bio-pic. So you're telling me you couldn't find a mexican- american to play her? Come on...

6. MGMT
- Good band, wrong time to be famous on the radio. High school hipsters in training adore them while Pitchfork (young adult) hipsters hate them because of the fact that they are famous. The cycle continues

5. Pearl Jam
- A bit like dave matthews fans but more on the Cunt side.

4. Atmosphere
- Rich white hip-hop heads love him and exalt him to a point of a deity. I'm sure they will start jocking Joaquin Phoenix pretty soon.

3. Joy Division
- A lot of hip people like throwing out this name around even though they couldn't tell the difference between them and the Killers. Or name one of their songs that isnt "Love will tear us apart"

2. Sublime
- Meathead douchebag inept cunting assfucks think Sublime is the best band of all time. No they are not, they are good, but not even in the running of best band of all time. Listen to something else on occasion.

1. Bob Marley
- Bourgeois white kids turned Rastafarian have made him a martyr for the legalization of marijuana but have forgotten his message of political equality and social struggle. He did not die for marijuana, but many do think that with all those posters of him smoking weed. The legalization of marijuana is the least of our worries, maybe stoners would know that if they werent high all the time.

*Honorable Mention
The Hot Boy$

25 things to know about me!

25. No one cares
24. You aren't special
23. Go back to work
22. Stop making lists about trivial and dreary facts about your life.
21. LOlZ!
20 - 2. You are embarrassing yourself. stop it.
1. MANU!

Funny Happenin' of the Day: Marina haha!

At work i noticed one of the school desks was covered with carvings and writings on it. One of them stood out in dark angry ink that stated "Marina is emo." Which i thought was funny until i looked at it carefully and noticed that someone crossed out emo and wrote "a dick."
i guffawed in enjoyment.

Top Ten Reasons why it would be cool to be gay.

10. Party all the time.

9. Its ok to workout without be called a meat-head douchebag

8. An excuse to talk shit about anyone at anytime

7. Ability to be a "minority" while having wealth

6. Gus van Sant

5. Alcoholism is encouraged not frowned upon.

4. Appreciation of the arts and culture

3. Style

2. Strong and supportive community

1. Party all the time

This is a test. Are we live?

::tap tap::

Is this thing on?

O.G. Hipster of the moment

Vincent Gallo. Vincente, Vinny Gallo. "Ey Vinny, chut the fuck up! you stupid mook." This guy is probably one of the most annoying, vapid, insipid, overrated people ever, but he does look cool.(Was not a typo, he is a man of many "talents", hence he has many a persona) A true example of the word dilettante to its exact meaning, he never really managed to do anything meaningful even though he was given millions to make movies. Somehow he was able to curse Roger Ebert with cancer just for speaking the truth on his crap movie Brown Bunny (havent seen but i get it, its so subtle that no one understands it). His presence at the Cannes film festival alone is why we should not have film festivals in the first place. Probably the biggest pioneers of the hipster movement (homie is 47! damn dude shave). We salute you Vinny "the" Gallo.